We all know someone difficult. Some people complain about everything, others are lazy, or overly dramatic, or bossy and demanding. Sometimes they are our coworkers, or classmates, or family, or our significant other. Often, their behavior doesn’t make any sense to us, and it’s just plain frustrating!
My closest friends know that I believe there’s a reason for everything, but that doesn’t mean I always know the reason! Only recently was I enlightened as to why difficult people are often difficult, and how to change their behavior! It’s pretty powerful stuff.
I’ve been attending professional development seminars through National Seminars Training, and I’ve learned some awesome things… so here’s one nugget for you all.
First, people aren’t difficult, they’re different. Corny, right? I know. But it’s true – we have to first remember that everyone is a little different from ourselves and ticks in a different way in order to use the next piece of knowledge.
Second, when people are difficult, it’s because a need is not being met.
So when you come across a difficult person, think about what need they may have that’s not being met, and how your response fuels, or doesn’t fuel, their behaviors that make them difficult.
There’s a heck of a lot to this, and tons of great examples to illustrate the point, but I won’t write a book here. Joe Gilliam authors resources on these concepts if interested in more info. OR, post here for more discussion!